7 weeks

Wow, I was looking down at my little boy this morning while feeding him and then looking up and the pictures on the tv of him right after birth and I am amazed by how much he has changed.  The last week has really been incredible.  He is so much more aware of the world around him and so much more interactive.  It is truly a delight to play with him or expose him to new things.  He even has favorite things with different people.  With Charles, for instance, he will mimic his facial expressions.  On the flip side of this amazing development is that Logan has almost completely lost his ability to fall asleep on his own and has trouble keeping himself asleep as well.  This is not uncommon at the age he is (6 ish weeks from his due date), so we just have to adapt.  I was feeling frustrated that things weren’t working the way they used to but I realize he is going to constantly change and we need to be willing to adapt as well.  It is now stressing me out less than things are “off” but it is still a lot of work to figure out what works for him now, because ultimately he needs to sleep!

I have spent a lot of time reading the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book.  It has a lot of wisdom and it at least gives me a structure to work from.  I think, as a sciency/engineer person, I feel like I should be able to figure this out and have it down, yet there are so many things that don’t make sense.  I remember watching my sister-in-law Tara try to scientifically figure out how to make Luke sleep better and finally realized he didn’t fit the mold of any of the books.  I remember thinking I should prepare myself to not feel frustrated if my child doesn’t work like the books say.  However, it isn’t that simple.  I feel like making him happy and healthy is my job and when he is crying hysterically and super tired, I feel like I should be able to figure out how to make it stop.  I realize this isn’t totally true and furthermore, that it might take us a while to figure out the formula that works for him.  We know what isn’t working for sure: tossing him in the crib awake (which used to be fine).  We need to help him fall asleep and that usually involves some combination of the 5 S’s.  The most sure fire is rocking/bouncing him in the chair we have in his room, while sh-ing and usually starting with the pacifier (oh and swaddled!).  We are hoping we can then move him to the crib but have had limited success.  Thankfully during the work week, Julia can just hold him while he sleeps and this allows him to sleep really well.  We can do some on the weekend, but we also want to spend time with each other and eat, so we have to balance these.  We also still rely heavily on the bouncer, which he seems to take well to as long as he isn’t super pissed off.  Overall, I think we are making it work but there is still a lot of adjustments.

I have some new decisions to make about our plan forward.  I was reading that we need to be more consistent with how we soothe him.  We used to toss him in the crib and come back when he cried, but the book says to have a consistent routine which includes soothing (ours didn’t except for 2 short house laps, which barely counts).  The author recommends that you either always soothe a consistent amount of time (and ideally in a similar way, but there is some variation, especially for different people), or that you always soothe until very asleep, but that you pick a plan and stay with it.  I’m not sure which one yet.  I’m leaning towards the second because I personally would rather spend 30 minutes soothing the first time and then have an hour to myself of him sleeping soundly, but we haven’t even demonstrated that this works.  Over the next week, hopefully we can experiment a bit more and settle on an approach.  I think I need to accept that we have a long road ahead (like all new parents) and that we had a really easy first 5.5 weeks and now we have to actually do the hard work and we’ll figure out how to get things just as peaceful as they were before (or close).

Working is still going well and Julia is an absolute dream.  I can’t imagine dealing with Logan this last week on my own.  I would have never eaten, used the bathroom, or pumped, and he would have never slept.  It is so nice to have a team here (she can eat while I feed him, for instance).  I still have been able to get about 6-7 hours of work done each day, which is pretty good. 

Despite having trouble sleeping, Logan seems to be settling more into a schedule, though it fluctuates an hour here and there.  His nighttime feedings are 12-1ish, 5ish and 9ish.  Then usually 11, 2, 5, 7.  He tends to go less than three hours during the day for a total of 7 feedings, but sometimes, if he goes 3 hours, it is only 6 feedings.  Since he has been sleeping worse, it can be hard to tell if he is hungry or tired.  We used to go by whether he rooted on me (arched his back to try to get to my nipple), but he seems to be doing that more now when he wants comfort (aka when he is tired and can’t sleep) or just because.  Charles has been having to adjust even more to all these changes since he only sees him for one awake cycle, but he is picking it up as he can. 

Logan had his first walk outside yesterday, which he seemed to enjoy quite a bit.   We’ve been doing it several times over the last day and it seems to calm him, entertain him, or put him to sleep, whichever he needs more.  Assuming it isn’t rainy or super wood smoky outside (my neighbor seems to be out of town right now), then we’ll probably do a walk most cycles. 

On a funny note, Charles and I have been having great conversations at night when one of us is asleep.  Several times Charles has asked me why I’m in the living room, which is confusing because all times we were in the bedroom.  I on the other hand, apparently always dream about holding Logan (I don’t get enough during the day!), and so Charles will ask me about him and I will answer from my dream state.  Sometimes I get away with it, but last night I said “hi” in a cute baby tone to my dream-Logan and it was a dead give-away to Charles that I was asleep, whoops!